‘Nuff said…

I always try to make sure to check the area before I leave the stall…

Here is a handy checklist:

1. Did I pee on the seat? No. Check!
2. Did I flush and flush thoroughly? Yes. Check!
3. Did I leave behind any hair buddies? No. Check!
4. If I did leave behind hair buddies, did I clean them up? Yes. Check!
5. Did I make any other mess that if someone else did it would totally gross me out? No. Check!!

See not that hard! Just try and be respectful. If you wouldn’t want to see someone else’s pube hair, than don’t leave yours!!!

Now I have the week off to relax and enjoy my new things. I am looking forward to 2010! 2009 has got to be one of the worst years of my life. It was filled with death, sadness, medical issues, etc. I just want it to be over so we can look forward to a new fresh year.

Bad things from 2009:
Death of husband’s grandmother
Death of husband’s grandfather
Death of husband’s great uncle
Me getting a concussion
Me getting unexplained anxiety (which I am still dealing with)

And that’s just the beginning. 2009 was truly the year of death. So many people we know and celebrities died this year.

We want to do a ceremonious burning of all of the bad things that happened this year. We are going to write everything down on pieces of paper and burn them. We need a fresh start!

Things I want to happen in 2010:
Lose weight
Get pregnant
Get promoted
Have husband get promoted
No more deaths!!!

It’s not asking for much is it???

Now, I am no advocate for animal to animal cruelty. But these dolphins were beating with a porpoise (wakka wakka).

What is this world coming to? Dolphins gangs running amok attacking poor defenseless porpoises…and why? Oh the agony! I am bringing Mace with me next time I go swimming in California!

The Parade of Fugliness: (Disclaimer: If this is you, sorry, you are just DAMN ugly!)

My newest pic. The sad thing is that this girl looks good when you take away the GINORMOUS fake boobs. She has nice (expensive looking) skin and nice hair. Her shape isn’t bad..but those BOOBS! Damn.

This is an unfortunate new person I believe.

This is just plain weird. She is supposed to be a “blow up doll”

Um?

What happened to her face? Her features are disappearing!

Part Lemur, part cartoon character…

Is this a Little Person?

Michael Jackson Syndrome…

An alien in a bikini!! OH MY

This one is a two-fer, score! A rare, but awesome occurrence!

It’s a cat, it’s a pregnant woman, it’s a….thunder thighs?

Troll woman! Run for your life!

Last, but not least….

I can’t say I haven’t ha a tragic moment or two. This unfortunate incident happened when my alt got the dreaded RUTH and something funky happened to my skin/hair. We are all not safe from “Fugly-itis” I am afraid.

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First check out this pic of Rumor Willis. She looks like a fucking bird that someone ran over with their car. How can two beautiful people produce such hideous offspring as this? I want to band her ankle and give her a cracker. The funny thing is that she actually thinks she’s sexy in this pic…

Next on my list, is Ali Lohan. Wow! Lindsay coked up with giant meat lips is bad enough, her younger sister is a real fox (ack). Did you know she started her career as a Ford Model? They must’ve been desperate that year. Also, she is 15 and this is an old pic. Nothing like dressing like a skank with your mom for Halloween!

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It doesn’t help that the Lohan clan annoys the hell out of me. Between the stupid father and mother and Lindsay’s issues (I’m gay, I’m not gay, I do crack, I don’t do crack), they all irritate me.

You’ll see a wide range of wardrobes (some that should’ve never left the house) and behavior (from couples who are fighting but feigning love just for the evening).

The best entertainment, however, comes from the people who attempt to hide the dread on their faces as they realize they’re in for several hours of chitchat with people they don’t particularly like.

When they’re spotted by these dreadful partygoers, you can watch their facial expressions say:

“Is that … Oh, geez, it’s … Did they see us? Can we — Oh, heeeeey, nice to see you!”

Hopefully, you’re not the person attendees avoid. But if your party invites have decreased significantly over the years, maybe you have some thinking to do.

Your workplace isn’t that different from a party scenario. Sure, it lacks an open bar and a karaoke machine, but many of the same rules apply.

Because no one likes to be annoying and no one likes to work with someone who is annoying, we’ve made a list of workplace personalities everyone dislikes.

1. Type: The suck-up

Why everyone rolls their eyes: Co-workers have an unwritten rule of solidarity. Employees and the boss aren’t in a battle with each other, but colleagues like to think that they support each other and are on the same team where everyone looks out for each other.

When you become the boss’s lapdog, you’ve betrayed loyalties. You’re getting attention and possibly even accolades — not because you’ve done your job, but because the boss knows you’ll cater to his or her every need. Does that mean talking about information you were told in confidence? Or maybe you’ll blame a co-worker for something that was really the boss’s fault. Suck-ups don’t have much workplace integrity nor co-worker support.

Why you should be wary: You won’t have colleagues to help you out if your boss is your only ally. What will you do when he or she leaves the company?

2. Type: The naysayer

Why everyone rolls their eyes: Sometimes the glass is half full. Pragmatism can keep everyone in check when they’re too busy patting themselves on the back for a foolproof idea, but your response to every proposed idea or development shouldn’t be gloom and doom. A constant chorus of “Oooh, no, that won’t work” is annoying and kills morale.

Why you should be wary: If your contribution to every conversation is going to be a negative one, you’ll be excluded from them.

3. Type: The drama queen

Why everyone rolls their eyes: Not everything is a tragedy. Just because something happened to you doesn’t make it more important than what’s happening in other people’s lives.

You need to have control of your emotions and a grasp on what requires immediate attention (and what doesn’t) whether you’re working behind a fast-food counter or teaching a classroom full of children.

Why you should be wary: That whole boy crying wolf thing — it applies here.

4. Type: The star of the show

Why everyone rolls their eyes: Yes, you’re a dazzling genius who should be running the place, not answering to some yahoo manager. Until your name is on the company letterhead, you’re not the focal point of everyone’s attention.

Self-promotion is often a good way to stay visible and remind executives that you’re a valuable contributor, but it should be used sparingly. Regardless of the organization and the industry, everyone is working toward a common goal — and you are not that goal. Work hard and let the results speak for themselves.

Why you should be wary: When the spotlight’s on you, it’s leaving both other people and your work in the dark.

Source: CNN

I would like to add:
-Type: Office Bitch
-Type: Typhoid Mary (the person who is always sick and giving it to everyone else)
-Type: The person who constantly talks about their ugly snot-nosed kids
-Type: The boss who thinks they know more than everyone else, but is just an idiot
-Type: The old people who feel entitled because they have been there for 30 years
-Type: The new young interns who think they know everything about how to run a place because they took a course about business in college

Any more?

Check out this one…my fave part is how it describes how a single mom discovers a trick to turn yellow teeth white at home. Note the prominent moustache on this sexy “mom.” If that is a woman, she better wax that upper lip so as not to ruin her gorgeous shining new white teeth!

Edit: Found this same ads with different pics!

This one is an old one from when that bridge collapsed in Minneapolis? The article discusses the human remains found in the wreckage. And what do you see underneath the article? A nice ad for Netflix featuring ZOMBIES! It kinda weirded me out so I saved it.

Hmm, I wonder what other weird ads are out there?

She suggested Hypnotherapy and Acupuncture as alternatives to medicine. I have never tried acupuncture, but all I can envision is the Nutty Professor movie where Mr. Klump gets acupuncture to try and lose weight and he has a thousand of them all over his body.

Can we say OW?

So hmm, not sure what to think about it. The therapist only had raving reviews about it and from what others have said, it really does work. I wonder if I should throw caution to the wind and try it out?